If you don't like it, change it

A journey about not finding what you want—and making it instead (*or getting your mom to make it).

Never in my life have I set a new year's resolution. I have lots of friends who do. I used to feel guilty about not having a list of things set down on January 1 that would signal that I was actively going to be improving myself/my life that year. Why? Who knows, it might be the Type A, oldest daughter in me.

But this year something weird happened—I set a shopping goal. It wasn’t set until early February, so it’s technically not a new year’s resolution, but it was a line in the sand nonetheless. Unfortunately, I can’t share my great process for this type of goalsetting with you, because there was no process. Kelly outlines her process SUPER clearly here though, so please take her lead and not mine!

I somewhat flippantly selected this thought bubble as my shopping goal from Feb-June 2025:

• 5 new items

• Unlimited secondhand items

TBH I’m not sure what moved me.

• Did I feel like I needed a handbrake on my shopping?

• Did I just want to prove to myself that I could set a goal, and then stick to it (competitive me, hello!)?

• Was I worried about consuming too much new stuff, and did I want to shift to buying more resale?

• Did I want to buy less ‘small’ things, and focus just on ‘bigger’ items… which means I have to budget better?

Even the goal itself is sending mixed signals!

But I printed it out and stuck it up on the fridge anyway. So there it was. Official. I also told my close friends and boyfriend. Reminds me of that time I once asked my boyfriend to hold me accountable to no longer eating chocolate before bed. We can all imagine how that went down…

Anyway.

I’m now a few months in and Spoiler Alert: I haven’t quite stuck to it. I’ll write more about it another time. Maybe when my failure feels less raw.

But in GREAT news, something amazing has come out of this whole experience.

Because I started constraining myself on what I could buy, I got HYPER critical of all the options out there. It’s crazy to think that in a world where we have so much choice, we can still feel like there’s nothing out there for us. Maybe this is not every shoppers dilemma. I was spending just as much time in research mode, but with far fewer ‘payoffs’. Everything felt unsatisfying. If I was going to ‘spend’ one of my purchases—it had better be worth it!

So, when I couldn’t find exactly what I wanted—I started to customize items of clothing that were growing stale in the back of my wardrobe AND THEN my mom started making my clothes (again)!!

On the customizations

I do love a pair of scissors. You know that sound when you’re cutting through a thick piece of cloth. Have you ever cut through denim? It’s so satisfying. And your heart is going a millions miles an hour…OMG what if I f**k it up!!

I should start by saying that I send A LOT of my clothes to a tailor. I love to customize the fit of almost everything I buy—including a $15 top. Often it’s an issue with the length of an item, or the fit around the waist. Recently I added an extra button hole to this mens coat at the sleeve so that I could get the wrist cuff really tight, which makes the rest of the oversized look feel more polished, and adds a hint of volume in the sleeve (and means that I can actually use my hands because the sleeves are long!).

But customisations at my own hand, that’s next level satisfying.

The Sweatshirt

I have searched TIRELESSLY for the perfect sweatshirt. Honestly, it’s a significant mental load. Clean colorway, round neckline, cuffed sleeves, a nice thick cotton that ages gracefully over time. The killer feature: the perfect band at the bottom. Or so it might now seem…lack of band! I had a sweatshirt that ticked all the boxes but that I never reached for. It never felt right when I put it on. But WHY NOT?! Then genius struck. In a moment of clarity I whipped out my scissors and cut off the ribbed band at the bottom and OMG “Voila!”. Chefs kiss. The jumper was transformed.

I know you may be thinking that a raw rolled hem at the bottom of a sweatshirt is nothing to write home about. But this moment WAS!! The picture doesn’t do it justice. But the proof: I wore it that weekend and every. single. friend asked me where I got my sweater from. I wear it all the time, I haven’t added a single sweatshirt to my Carted lists since that day.

The Long Sleeve T-shirt

Emboldened by this, my next project was a long-sleeved tee. She got the same treatment. Another superb transformation. I also found this long sleeve sister and she did get purchased.

The Bag

In a less groundbreaking but still transformational moment that stopped me purchasing a new bag: I added a second strap to a shoulder bag I wasn’t wearing and all of a sudden it became the PERFECT crossbody bag I had been searching for.

I have a love/hate relationship with crossbody bags. They are so damn practical, but I love the look of a shoulder bag. It’s a vibe thing, I can’t really explain myself. BUT sometimes you just need to be hands-free. I wanted a bag that looked fun, not serious, sporty but not the Lululemon fanny pack, I could wear it dressed up or down. It could not, hard no, be black, beige or chocolate. I had really set myself up for a win lol.

So this is where I landed. And I have been asked every time I wear it where I got it from.

My next victim: a pair of Sporty & Rich track pants I got ridiculously cheap in a sample sale but that have never quite worked on me. My plan? You guessed it, cut off the cuffs and create the cropped trackpants of my dreams! Stay tuned….

On the Mom-ufacture

While I’m pretty proud of my scissor-wielding capabilities, using a Singer is not a skill I possess.

But my mom possesses this skill. She’s incredible. She also knits, and blows glass (and recently fixed this beautiful bracelet for me when one of the stones fell out).

Purchased on a side street in Athens, Greece.

I had been hunting for a pair of shorts. Loose on the legs, to the knee, sweatpant material (not too thick, not too thin), high waisted, not black. Could be dressed up easily but didn’t look dressy alone. It should be noted that I have a long torso, so when I say high waisted the fit needs to be really high waisted. And that can be very hard to find.

Randomly I joked to my mom one day that she should just make them for me. She laughed, and then said OK. She triple checked my specifications because she hates knee-length shorts and wanted to ensure I wasn’t going down a bad path. Lol.

A week later she told me they were ready. The buzz. I saw them and fell in love. A deep green (a Gucci remnant fabric she was told), the softest cotton with the perfect stretch. But damn, when I tried them on the waist was too short. Ha! SO being the trooper she is, my mom said she had an idea on how to fix the waist. The next week she came back and they were a glorious, perfect fit!!! Her waistband detail is incredible. I love them. They are perfect, and my hunt for the long sweat short has come to a fabulous end.

Off the back of this experiment we planned our next project together. I was desperate for these shorts in navy but they’d been sold out for a while. I wanted to wear them to an event. Let’s do it! Mom said. And so off she went to her friend at the material store and she found a silk that would work. What followed was four weeks of torture for her as we fiddled with with shape and fit and the material itself was really hard to work with (and ok I’ll admit, I was quite a fussy customer!) but the outcome: HELL YES shorts. And look, just LOOK at the little detail on the inside waistband. A tag! My mom’s new personal tag! So many emotions.

So the TL;DR (long story short) is: constraint is GOOD. I may have failed at my initial shopping goal, but I connected to old clothes in new ways and made connections with my mom in creating clothes the ‘old’ way. Glorious.