Shop With: Allison Bornstein, celebrity stylist turned closet therapist.

A chat that covers past purchases, upcoming shopping and how to balance mindful shopping while surrendering to the joy of it all.

When I get dressed every morning I think about how NOT to match my shoes to my outfit. True story. Even before I heard it framed so eloquently by

Allison Bornstein

as the Wrong Shoe Theory. She gets it. Allison is a spiritual closet guide to so many and she’s as cool as she is down-to-earth and accessible. If you don’t already read everything she writes, I can highly recommend you start.

Allison Bornstein

Fun fact: since she first started her virtual styling sessions in 2020 she’s seen and worked with 1000’s of women all over the world. She works with clients one-on-one with the intention of helping them find their style and use their wardrobe to express themselves.

I could have spent hours and hours talking shopping theory with AB, but what I was really dying to know was how she shops for herself. What are her shopping stories? What is she really buying and coveting, how does she choose what she buys amongst all the noise.

Now, less from me, more from Allison (including some very excellent recommendations for her hometown of LA at the bottom).

Hi Allison! Ok let’s start with….what does shopping mean to you?

Shopping to me is about gathering the tools to create an amazing look. Oftentimes, clients will think that shopping is the end of the journey… that the next thing you buy will automatically give you style. But for me, shopping is all about finding the pieces and styling is about creating the look!

Has your relationship with shopping changed over time? How?

The older I have gotten and the more I have gotten to know myself, the better I am at shopping. I used to shop to try to find my style but now I know my style and therefore buy things that align with that vision. It is a lot easier to do it this way! It does take a lot of trial and error and a lot of mistakes (which I still make) but understanding your style and shopping accordingly is the best way to ensure your wardrobe is functional, expressive and exciting!

When/where/how do you shop for yourself?

I love to shop in person. For my job, I am often sending clients links online but I don't like to recommend things unless I know that they are great. So, I am often going into stores just so I can touch and feel and try things on. I also find that shopping in person is so much more emotional– you can leave room for things that catch your eye and things that just give you that “full body yes”. Online is also great, but sometimes I find that it can feel like checking something off a list, as opposed to enjoying the process.

What are the last three things you actually bought?

1. Phoebe Philo Sunglasses

I have a pair of her sunglasses from the last collection that I LOVE and that I wear all the time. When I saw the new ones from this upcoming collection I took a screenshot and have been obsessed for months. When the collection came out, I purchased them immediately. They are very 70’s which aligns with my style.

2. Skims Bralette

I love to wear these when I am wearing big sweaters or when I am working from home. Unfortunately, I am someone who needs to wear a bra at all times but this is a great option when you want something comfortable and soft.

3. Chloe Tassel necklace.

I purchased this tassel necklace from the new color iron. When I initially saw the runway show I was obsessed and took so many screenshots. I have never been more happy with a purchase. Jewelry is something that I never regret and always hold onto. It also really changes the outcome of a look- if I add this, the look feels totally different. You can wear a simple tee and jeans but you add this sucker and it automatically becomes embellished and a bit boho!

Tell me about your DMs with your friends. Is there a lot of shopping chat? Have you always been that friend that people ask your opinion on what they should buy, what they should wear?

Yes! I have made a career out of it! My friends definitely text me and Facetime me when they are contemplating a purchase or when they need help with packing for a vacation or a work trip. I am definitely the go-to friend for that!

Curating/editing/recommending things to buy has long been part of your professional, and personal, life. You’ve become incredibly well-known for your shopping ‘processes’... how did you land on them? Was there ever a hectic shopper in there?

A lot of the methods and systems I come up with are in response to questions or struggles that my clients have. My goal is to try to help solve these problems that we are all facing and come up with clear and actionable steps to make the process easier and more enjoyable. So, I would say it is less about myself and my personal process and more about the observations I am making with clients. It is always interesting– there will be trends in terms of the issues that I am hearing about on my calls. For example, when the denim shapes were changing, a lot of clients asked about shopping for denim and pairing shoes with denim. So as a response, I created some tips and tricks for that!

In terms of my personal shopping habits– I have always been crazed and obsessed by clothing. Ever since I was young I really, really loved clothing and shopping. I would often find looks that I loved in magazines and try to recreate them on a budget. When I first moved to New York I did a LOT of thrifting which I think was really helpful and forced me to be creative. There were phases where I was really experimenting and trying to find who I was and how to express that person through my style. And I think I will continue to do that but now I just have a better foundation and a bigger budget!

Tell me three items that are currently on your list to buy.

1. I have been on the hunt for the perfect leather jacket for a while now and still can’t find exactly what I am looking for! SO I am going to continue to search and keep an eye out. I have gone from Khaite to Nour Hammour to The Real Real to vintage and nothing feels perfect. I am continuing to keep an eye out, I might try THIS one from Kallmayer next.

2. I really want the Balenciaga Rodeo bag. It has been on my list for a while and while I don’t need it at all, I really, really love it. I think it is classic and fun and has a sense of humor. That will probably be my next big splurge.

3. I am always on the hunt for great vintage kaftans. I often scour the resale sites and 1stDibbs for good ones. Although it is not vintage and I have literally no event to wear it to, I am in love with THIS one from Taller Marmo.

4. I also have been loving my pieces from Juju Vera and have my eye on THIS necklace. It is right up my alley– a little 70’s but still modern!

What's the most unexpected item you've ever bought?

I bought these really high closed toe platform heels from Prada that at the time seemed so incredibly impractical but are my go-to shoe for every single wedding or event. They are comfortable and cool and add a nice weight to a look. At the time, I LOVED them and had an emotional pull toward them but went back and forth about them because I really didn’t need them (and didn’t need to be spending that kind of money!) but they are the kind of purchase that I cannot imagine not owning because they have been so functional (while still being the highest shoe in my wardrobe!). Sometimes the things that you just have a pull toward end up serving you well.

What's the one item in your closet you can't live without?

I am a big fan of jewelry and I feel incomplete without it. I have a lot of great pieces and I am always switching things up. I will have a jewelry rotation that lasts a few years and then add something or swap something out… so it is ever evolving. Currently, my Elsa Peretti bone cuff is an item that makes every look feel complete. I wear it nearly everyday and find that it adds that little touch to make the look feel like me. My rings as well! I have a nice mix of new and vintage.

Many of us are looking for more ‘intentional’ shopping moments these days. People look to you for exactly that type of help! Were you always such a strategic shopper?

I wouldn’t say I was strategic or even am currently BUT I have always had a vision of what I wanted to be and what I wanted to present to the world. And I think that is really helpful. With anything in life, if you don’t have a vision, it is hard to forge a clear path. So, when clients say they want to look more “polished” I will have them create a moodboard of what that looks like to them. To have that vision allows us to really understand what we are looking for and then we are able to figure out how to get there. For example, using that “polished” idea, maybe they are saving a lot of photos with super sleek pieces like black turtlenecks and pointed boots. If those things are not in the wardrobe, they could be something interesting to consider adding. It takes a little analysis at that level to figure out what we want and what pieces will get us there!

We listen to lots of stories about buyers' remorse? Do you ever have any guilt around shopping?

Yes, I have bought a lot of things that have not worked out and that I felt guilty about. The best thing to do in that situation is to sell that thing. I know it sometimes feels hard (especially if there is technically nothing wrong with it or if we spent a lot of money on it) but getting that thing out of your space will release you and give someone else the opportunity to wear it and love it. The things that have been expensive mistakes are always the hardest to let go of but as long as we can learn from them…It's okay! I always ask myself, why didn't this work? What didn’t I like about it? Figuring that out ensures we don’t make that same mistake again.

What does it look like inside Allison Bornstein’s closet?

It is really small but very organized. I lived in NYC for 15 years and always had the smallest closets (in one apartment I didn't even have a closet, just a garment rack!). I think because I lived in NY for so many years, it taught me how to be edited. If I overbuy, I am actually just making life harder for myself. I like to see all of my options!! I also try really hard to do one in and one out. It’s not always possible but I think forcing a sacrifice makes me consider if the thing is really worth owning.

Can you tell us about the product hunt—what’s involved when you’re hunting down something you really want to buy?

I really teach clients to be thoughtful and mindful but I also think it’s really important to leave room for joy and emotion (not necessarily being impulsive but leaving room for that emotional pull towards something). I call it the “full body yes”— when you love something, you feel it. So when I see something I really, really love I can get a little compulsive or obsessed. I often screenshot vintage images and runway images and will think about them all season. I don’t have the budget to buy full runway looks or collections but I think I will often use these images as a starting off point for what I want or the feeling I want for a piece. I am very patient and willing to wait for what I really want as opposed to getting a dupe or something to fill the void. I have made that mistake a lot and really regret not just getting what i want. If I feel like something amazing has passed me by or I can’t find what I yearn for, I have used Gab Waller who is an amazing sourcer to help me find what I am looking for.

How do your clothes make you feel? And why are you so passionate about helping the masses to discover their own style?

Clothes are my tool for self expression. They are incredibly important to me and I think it is so apparent how much our clothing can affect our mood and how we interact with the world. We all have to get dressed everyday so if I can help people transform it into a joyful and creative experience, I will feel fulfilled and complete!

What is your one go-to online store?

I like net-a-porter a lot for their ecommerce styling. I find that they always make things look really special and expensive. If I am ever having trouble styling an item, I will use the net-a-porter search engine as a styling catalogue.

What makes you fall in love with a brand/product/item?

Uniqueness! I think we are all sick of everything looking the same so when a brand feels really special and unique, I am drawn to them. I also love vintage clothing and jewelry so when something feels like it has that influence, I am sold.

What do you think the future of shopping looks like?

I hope there are more opportunities for reselling and consignment! There is so much product out there and I hope we can find a way to make the space more sustainable.

Rapid Five

1. What city do you call home?

   Los Angeles.

2. Favorite place to eat?

   Sunset Tower.

3. Favorite place to shop?

   Shopping in LA is hard. I am still new to it but I like going to Just One Eye on Sycamore or The Real Real store on Melrose. In New York I love going to Desert Vintage, Bode and Kallmayer which are all in a little triangle!! My absolute favorite.

4. Favorite place to run/hike/pilates/yoga/dance/tennis

   Omg, I don’t do any of these things. I am a bad Angelino. I walk around the Silver Lake Reservoir sometimes if that counts.

5. Favorite coffee/tea/matcha/milkshake?

   I love an iced matcha with almond milk and for an amazing treat, the “Cloudy with a Chance of Peanuts” at Kumquat Coffee. It's such a strange but fabulous taste sensation.